This Week

This week we are preparing for Nathan's Fontan surgery. Packing, organizing...etc....I knew that this week would be hard. My stomach hurts, I cant sleep and all I think about is what will happen. Im keeping the boys in this week because the last thing we want is for Nathan to get a cold and the surgery be postponed. I have prepared myself mentally and I am PRAYING that he stays healthy! Still not sure how long he will be in the hospital. I know a lot of you have asked. It all depends on Nathan! I am looking forward to being "Post - Fontan". I know he will always have heart issues but having this surgery behind us will be nice. Maybe we can start looking forward to normal stuff after this:-) After this surgery he shouldnt need another major surgery for a few years....like maybe not till high school. Again, lots can change but that is what we are hoping for.

My mom knew I would be a basket case so she is coming in on Saturday! I cant wait!!! She can help me take my mind off of it....or at least make fun of me and try to get me to focus on other things. :-) Im looking forward to taking her to a few places before all this starts.

Nathan has a bit of a cough from the breathing tube during his cath. His throat is irritated. Other than that he is doing great! He gets to start having baths again tonight. He will enjoy that! He misses them. Since his cath he has been pointing out all his booboos. And all his stuffed animals booboos and my booboos.....it is very cute:-) So we have been going around kissing a lot of booboos:-)

I tear up watching him play. I wish he didnt have to have this done. But then I think about what our lives would be like if he hadnt brought us into this "heart life". I have to say that I really do love my life and a huge part of why I love it is what my kids have given me. I read this poem when I am feeling overwhelmed. I have posted it before but want to share it again! It really explains what it is like to have a child that has health issues. At first you are terrified, but once things settle and the shock wears off you do realize how blessed you are to be the one to take care of a child like Nathan.

*************************************************************************


When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, 'Welcome to Holland.

'Holland?!?' you say. 'What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy.

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills... .and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say 'Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned.

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.